Faith-full, Fear-less and Free to Be!

Leading Self and Others in Relationship:

Freedom from Codependency Series (Part I)

Faith-full, Fear-less and Free to Be!

Mary Angeline Ross © InSp!re 2011

It is unlikely that an individual who is emotionally and psychologically healthy would purposefully seek to develop (or even begin) a deep, personal relationship with one who is not.  Nevertheless, at one time or another, even the healthiest individual may find themselves entangled in just such a relationship. The dysfunctional relationship is often the result of denial, deception, and/or a lack of healthy discernment by any/all involved in the early formation of the relationship.  

Over time, however, the true nature and character of every individual – and every relationship - is revealed.

If a relationship is healthy, the fruits of faith including: unconditional love, acceptance, truth-telling, trust, individual responsibility, and mutual accountability, are manifest through the continual growth and development of those involved. This relationship is a continual fountain of joy, river of encouragement, an ocean of possibilities. In this relationship, individuals are ‘free to be’ – equally, continuously, effortlessly. Individuals in this type of relationship enjoy absolute freedom from fear in the relationship and are therefore free to ‘serve one another’, submitted to one another in love. This demands a trust that will manifest only when the individuals are fear-less and faith-full.

If a relationship is unhealthy, fruits of fear including: insecurity, deception, control, and manipulation are manifest as well as growing stagnation and frustration of the individuals’ life-purpose. This relationship, devoid of healthy boundaries, is an invariable gutter – a rut - of despair; a bottomless pit of perfection-pursuit and meaningless justification; an impenetrable prison of the individual potential. In this relationship, one is only ‘free to be’ – what the other ‘needs’; they are ‘bondservants’, though not to ‘love’ or to one another. They are faith-less (even hopeless for change) and slaves of fear.

Without regard to relationship context (e.g. parent/child, pastor/congregant, teacher/student, leader/follower, husband/wife, friend/friend) the outcome and side-effect(s) of a dysfunctional relationship can be devastating, especially with regard to the fulfillment of one’s life purpose.

Take a moment now to consider the important relationships in your life (past/present) in light of the Faith-full/Fear-less or Fear-full/Faith-less standard for healthy/unhealthy relationships.  Are you living and leading ‘free’?   Try this little exercise:

In which of these two categories would a majority of your deep relationships (past/present) fall? Remember to consider both your perspective and the perspective of others in relationship with you. Are those relationships:

Fear-Less and Faith-full?                          Or                                Fear-full and Faith-less?

In Part II of this series, freedom from codependency in relationships is explored from the context of the Leader-Follower relationship. I hope you’ll keep following and growing!

Lead on!

Leader Transformation in Relationship

Sustainable leadership development is rooted in the leader's willingness to be continually transformed. Transformed leaders transform their organizations and support the ongoing development of followers. Transformation is the result of learning something new ~ and relationship is the most powerful context for learning - and therefore, life & leadership transformation!

Contrary to the thinking of some, leadership is not a journey to be made alone. Avoiding the objective feedback one finds in healthy relationships, leaders are more prone to deception and leadership failure. 

In the context of relationship, our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors are constantly being revealed. The leader who is objective and open to that 'revelation' will recognize the areas of their life/leadership that need tending. The leader who takes responsibility for their own development in those areas is poised to become great; the leader who purposefully seeks out the relationships they KNOW will challenge them, exposing areas of their life/leadership in need of change, is destined to make a difference!

If you want to make a difference with your life and leadership, enter wholly into trusting relationships where you be challenged and changed - and where you can be an agent of change in the lives of others! This is the essence of leadership influence - to influence self and others to be continually transformed!

God bless your 2011 with peace, prosperity and powerful relationships!
Lead on!