Wise Sayings

So I've always known there are exactly 31 Chapters in the Old Testament Book of Wise Sayings written by (or related to the wisdom of) King Solomon. 

BUT - then it occurred to me there are - at most - 31 days in a month.

LIGHT BULB! Hey! That means there is a chapter of wise sayings - for every day of the month! In a book that has been at the top of best-seller lists for thousands of years! What!?!

Anywhoo ... this is certainly not a new revelation for a lot of folks but it is to me and I for one am taking great advantage of it!

Starting with the new year, I have been reading the corresponding chapter of Proverbs for each day. And may I just tell you there is some GOOD STUFF in there! I mean some REAL WISDOM! Better yet, its TOTALLY PRACTICAL and RELATE-ABLE! 

So now I have started back at the beginning of the Proverbs - February 1st, obviously.  So I'm on the 2nd Chapter today.  And I am psyched about the wisdom I am still mining from this knowledge base even the second time around! I have a feeling the real wisdom here is infinite - but as one stubborn and generally undeterred explorer, I have a bigger feeling that I will go as deep and wide as I can to search out as much of it as I can!

Challenge:  Try it. Seriously. Just one chapter a day. I'm going to be the Second WISEST person in the world! Yes!! Okay. Probably not. BUT, no doubt I have found a deep well of knowledge leading to a wiser way of being - if I actually apply this great wisdom - which I am [trying].  I'll keep you posted. 

Feel free to join me on the adventure. 

Feeling wiser already,

maryangeline

Faith-full, Fear-less and Free to Be!

Leading Self and Others in Relationship:

Freedom from Codependency Series (Part I)

Faith-full, Fear-less and Free to Be!

Mary Angeline Ross © InSp!re 2011

It is unlikely that an individual who is emotionally and psychologically healthy would purposefully seek to develop (or even begin) a deep, personal relationship with one who is not.  Nevertheless, at one time or another, even the healthiest individual may find themselves entangled in just such a relationship. The dysfunctional relationship is often the result of denial, deception, and/or a lack of healthy discernment by any/all involved in the early formation of the relationship.  

Over time, however, the true nature and character of every individual – and every relationship - is revealed.

If a relationship is healthy, the fruits of faith including: unconditional love, acceptance, truth-telling, trust, individual responsibility, and mutual accountability, are manifest through the continual growth and development of those involved. This relationship is a continual fountain of joy, river of encouragement, an ocean of possibilities. In this relationship, individuals are ‘free to be’ – equally, continuously, effortlessly. Individuals in this type of relationship enjoy absolute freedom from fear in the relationship and are therefore free to ‘serve one another’, submitted to one another in love. This demands a trust that will manifest only when the individuals are fear-less and faith-full.

If a relationship is unhealthy, fruits of fear including: insecurity, deception, control, and manipulation are manifest as well as growing stagnation and frustration of the individuals’ life-purpose. This relationship, devoid of healthy boundaries, is an invariable gutter – a rut - of despair; a bottomless pit of perfection-pursuit and meaningless justification; an impenetrable prison of the individual potential. In this relationship, one is only ‘free to be’ – what the other ‘needs’; they are ‘bondservants’, though not to ‘love’ or to one another. They are faith-less (even hopeless for change) and slaves of fear.

Without regard to relationship context (e.g. parent/child, pastor/congregant, teacher/student, leader/follower, husband/wife, friend/friend) the outcome and side-effect(s) of a dysfunctional relationship can be devastating, especially with regard to the fulfillment of one’s life purpose.

Take a moment now to consider the important relationships in your life (past/present) in light of the Faith-full/Fear-less or Fear-full/Faith-less standard for healthy/unhealthy relationships.  Are you living and leading ‘free’?   Try this little exercise:

In which of these two categories would a majority of your deep relationships (past/present) fall? Remember to consider both your perspective and the perspective of others in relationship with you. Are those relationships:

Fear-Less and Faith-full?                          Or                                Fear-full and Faith-less?

In Part II of this series, freedom from codependency in relationships is explored from the context of the Leader-Follower relationship. I hope you’ll keep following and growing!

Lead on!

Leader Transformation in Relationship

Sustainable leadership development is rooted in the leader's willingness to be continually transformed. Transformed leaders transform their organizations and support the ongoing development of followers. Transformation is the result of learning something new ~ and relationship is the most powerful context for learning - and therefore, life & leadership transformation!

Contrary to the thinking of some, leadership is not a journey to be made alone. Avoiding the objective feedback one finds in healthy relationships, leaders are more prone to deception and leadership failure. 

In the context of relationship, our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors are constantly being revealed. The leader who is objective and open to that 'revelation' will recognize the areas of their life/leadership that need tending. The leader who takes responsibility for their own development in those areas is poised to become great; the leader who purposefully seeks out the relationships they KNOW will challenge them, exposing areas of their life/leadership in need of change, is destined to make a difference!

If you want to make a difference with your life and leadership, enter wholly into trusting relationships where you be challenged and changed - and where you can be an agent of change in the lives of others! This is the essence of leadership influence - to influence self and others to be continually transformed!

God bless your 2011 with peace, prosperity and powerful relationships!
Lead on!

Leadership Competencies

Well, it happened again. I was shocked and amazed in yet another strategic planning meeting. Just when I think 'I have seen it all', I am reminded that I definitely have not - especially when it comes to poor leadership.

An hour and a half into the meeting (at which I was an invited observer, not an actual member of the organization per se), I realized several issues were brought to the table, various options and opportunities discussed, and still -- no clearly defined goals or objectives were identified. HELLO! Why are you here, people?! That's what I wanted to say (SHOUT!) but I just observed quietly (very difficult for me, to say the least).

Sadly, I could sense the frustration in the room and especially from the organizational leadership. The purpose (stated) of the weekly meeting was to get feedback from department heads in order to ensure alignment at all levels of the organization with the organization's strategic intent or purpose. Strangely, I had the distinct feeling that half the room has no CLUE as to the Leader's vision and seriously doubt many could articulate succinctly the organization's actual mission or purpose. Certainly, they might provide a generic sort of mission statement - perhaps something they read on a poster or newsletter at some point in time; but to 'know' the organization Purpose in a sense that they each might 'own' it - highly doubtful considering all the 'floundering' around and no real decision making. I can't count the number of times someone asked "Did we decide anything on that?" or "So what did we decide?" WHAT?!

This was very disconcerting to me - especially since the organization's stated mission is to change the world by meeting the spiritual needs of broken people.

You want to change the world, Leader? Start by ensuring a clear, concise, inspiring and SHARED vision. If your constituents don't know EXACTLY why the organization exists, who the customer is, or what need they are expending their valuable lives and talents in order to meet, then they will most certainly NEVER commit fully to the organization - or to you. Hard truth - but must be said.

This is your FIRST and GREATEST challenge as a Leader. If your organization is to be effective, you must develop the competency to create a SHARED VISION. Otherwise, you are just another well-meaning leader in a well-meaning organization -- doomed for mediocrity in the most competitive global marketplace in all of human history. Resources are plentiful for your leadership development in this area. Don't delay. You will not get a second chance in this market.

Bottom line: I am pleading with you, Leader! I can't sit (sleep) through another meeting meant to plan a FUTURE with a Leader incapable of leading TODAY.

Dark Sides of Leadership & Loyalty (c) 2008 Mary A. Ross

Check out this SlideShare Presentation:

Mary ross narcissism & codependent ppoint

View more presentations from Mary Angeline Ross.

Self-Awareness and Leader Effectiveness

What is self-awareness? According to Goleman and other leadership & organizational development theorists it involves the ability:

• to 'locate' ones self in relationship to all others and all other things;
• to determine (discern) the 'reality' of the relationship (current reality, culturally expected reality (norms), and the desired reality (self-determined, moral, ethical, rightly-related reality/relationship);
• to discern the emotional, psychological 'reality' of others (EI, SI).

Here's a great Case Study: the New Testament disciple-follower, Peter. Jesus asked who do others say I am? He followed that question then with 'Who do YOU say I am?" Jesus was examining Peter's leadership in the context of self-awareness. In essence he was asking: What do you know about what the 'others' believe and how does that 'relationship' influence/impact Your own belief system and/or behaviors? Who do you believe I am and who are you in 'light of that realization/reality/revelation/relationship? This is the essence of leadership: relationship. Knowing oneself in light of those relationships is vital to remaining authentic as a leader - to maintaining one's integrity with humility. Relationship is grounded in, strengthened by, leader self-awareness; and relationship is the KEY to leader effectiveness. Lead on!

I Remember

The Sacrifice On somber ground a flower grows Stirred by winds, a spangled banner blows Across the valley as our freedom waves Above their sleeping, silent graves. O'er this scene a bugle's sound Now dedicates this hallowed ground. Reverence now this sacred sod And words that flow from throne of God, "Rest safely in your guarded lands Hold child and loved ones in your hands The blood is shed, the enemies flee But freedom never will be - 'free'" Gracie O. Dunavent & Mary Angeline Ross (c) May 26, 2008 In Honor of Memorial Day, 2008 and in honor and memory of those who have paid for with their very lives the freedoms we yet live to enjoy. I will always remember.